Wednesday, November 3, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day Twenty-Six

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
(Refer to: Intro, Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8, Day 9, Day 10, Day 11, Day 12, Day 13, Day 14, Day 15, Day 16, Day 17, Day 18, Day 19, Day 20, Day 21, Day 22, Day 23, Day 24, Day 25)

Yeah, I know, I skipped yesterday. I'm not going to fill your ears (or eyes) with excuses, just say that it wasn't a day to think about such things. Besides, it doesn't say it's 30 days IN A ROW. Hehe. Anyway, back on topic. This one is hard for me to be as open about, because I don't usually air out my mental issues in public. Yes, I've got them, and yes, I'm dealing with them regularly, but I don't like to wave them all around at everybody. I'd prefer to keep them to myself, and be cheerful and sweet and happy for others.

So anyway, have I ever thought about giving up on life? You bet I have. Probably more than anybody would ever suspect. When? I'll have to answer that with a question. When don't I? It's almost always there, lurking in my head. Why? Well, to start with the obvious, psoriasis is a miserable, painful disease, and it often feels like I can't ever be normal. That's enough, but there's also the mental illness issues.

I'm going to leave it at that, because I just don't feel up to deeply examining everything that makes me feel like shit. I've got too much other stuff going on, and too much work to do to sit around having a pity party.

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